Going Through to Get Over: Depression

Step 4 of the Stages of Grief is known as the Depression stage. As a reminder, the 5 Stages of Grief were developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and are an outline of what most people experience in a period of mourning, typically due to a death or another type of loss. They don't necessarily happen in a specific order, and there's no set time limit per stage, but understanding what they are and how they effect you and the others around you is a helpful tool in the healing journey.

The depression phase is well-known across the board, a quieter stage than others, and shouldn't be confused with clinical depression. Changes in sleep schedules and/or appetite, intense sadness, processing your new reality post-loss, and social withdrawal are some of the ways the brain tries to process the quietness and deep sadness of the loss. This phase doesn't always come fourth, and it can be repeated, but it is a necessary and normal part of the grieving process just like denial, anger, and bargaining are. If depression is prolonged, interferes with daily life, or gets out of control, seeking help from a licensed professional and the support of your family and friends is absolutely necessary.

As Keith From Grief has been known to say, "You have to go through to get over." I've collected songs about the depression stage both that I feel are fitting in different ways as well as getting suggestions from other sources, and these seven songs are a sampling of that list.

Always Good (Live) by Bethel Music & Hannah McClure (written by H. McClure, R. Springer)

Originally featured on Bethel's 2020 live album Always Good, has gotten me through a few different grief processes in the last few years. God is in the valleys every bit as much as He's on the tops of the mountains, and trading our burdens for His lighter yoke is such a relief when you feel like you just can't go anymore.

You meet me on the mountaintop, You see me in the valley low/There is no home without You here/And I find You in the crowded thoughts, You quiet all the question marks/There is no space Your love won’t fill/And I’ll trade all my fear for peace of mind/All my heaviness for burdens light/And this will be my song, that You are always good/I’ll sing it all day long that you are always good/And when the day is through, I am left with/You are always, You are always good

Neon Moon by Brooks & Dunn (written by R. Dunn)

Originally featured on Brooks & Dunn's 1991 album Brand New Man, this is also one of the greatest country songs ever and you can't change my mind. I love the imagery of the world being saturated in a blue neon light as the narrator navigates his grief.

When the sun goes down on my side of town, that lonesome feeling comes to my door/The whole world turns blue/There’s a rundown bar ‘cross the railroad track, I’ve got a table for two way in the back/Where I sit alone and think of losing you/I spend most every night beneath the light of a neon moon/Now, if you lose your one and only/There’s always room here for the lonely/To watch you broken dreams dance in and out of the beams/Of a neon moon

Cry Pretty by Carrie Underwood (written by C. Underwood, H. Lindsey, L. McKenna, L. Rose)

Originally featured on Underwood's 2018 album Cry Pretty, this song hits home in the truth of the words. There's lots of ways to mask sadness or depression or grief, but I have yet to figure out a way to attractively bawl my eyes out.

I’m sorry, but I’m just a girl/Not usually the kind to show my heart to the world/I’m pretty good at keeping it together/I hold my composure for worse or for better/So I apologize if you don’t like what you see/But sometimes, my emotions get the best of me/And falling apart is as human as it gets/You can’t hide it, you can’t fight what the truth is/You can pretty lie and say it’s okay/You can pretty smile and just walk away/Pretty much fake your way through anything/But you can’t cry pretty

Gotta Get Thru This (Acoustic Version) by Daniel Bedingfield (written by D. Bedingfield)

Originally featured on Bedingfield's 2001 album Gotta Get Thru This, the entire vibe of this song changes when it's made acoustic. There's a little denial mixed in with the depression here, too.

When your love is pouring like the rain, I close my eyes and it’s gone again/When will I get the chance to say I love you/I pretend that you’re already mine, that my heart ain’t breaking every time/I look into your eyes/If only I can get through this/If only I can get through this/If only I can get through this/God, God, gotta help me get through this/I gotta get through this, I gotta get through this/I gotta make it, gotta make it, gotta make it through/Said I’m gonna get through this, I’m gonna get through this/I gotta take, gotta take my mind off you

If Time Does What It's Supposed To by Madi Diaz (written by M. Diaz, A. Raitiere)

Originally featured on Diaz's 2025 album Fatal Optimist, this is one of her many songs that could fit right in in this series. Ideally this song is written about a romantic breakup, but it could apply to any form of grief in my opinion pretty easily.

I can’t make it down the block without you getting in my thoughts/And I can’t tell my right from my left, my up from down or who I am/It’s like every day is one day I’m getting through, one day I'll wake up and I’ll be over you/If time does what it’s supposed to/Hearts will heal and hurt will pass, the way I feel right now won’t last/Won’t reach for you when I’m asleep, won’t dream that you’re still next to me/Leaves die and fall the same place flowers bloom, and I’ll move right on, and I’ll be over you/If time does what it’s supposed to/If time does what it’s supposed to/Then I won’t need to love you anymore/And I’ll finally see the sky for all its blue/I’ll remember what the clock is ticking for

Best Years of My Life by Pistol Annies (written by M. Lambert, A. Monroe, A. Presley)

Originally featured on Pistol Annies's 2018 album Interstate Gospel, this song can just break your heart in the quiet resignation found in the lyrics. The narrator talks about losing love in her marriage and feeling like all she can do is just exist, mourning what was and what she feels like she can never get back.

I picked a good day for a recreational Percocet/I’ve got an itch to just get high/I’m in the middle of the worst of it/These are the best years of my life/I’ve got a hankering for intellectual emptiness/I’ve got the need to ease my mind/I’ll watch some reruns on the TV set/These are the best years of my life/I was looking forward to/Staying here forever ‘cause you asked me to/Didn’t think that I could do better, so I settled down/In this ten-cent town, it’s about to break me/I’m gonna mix a drink and try to drown this worthlessness/Call Mom and tell her I’m alright/Well, he don’t love me, but he ain’t gone yet/These are the best years of my life

Getaway Car by Taylor Swift (written by T. Swift, J. Antonoff)

Originally featured on Swift's 2017 album Reputation, this song shows a side of depression that can be overlooked. In the wake of a failing relationship, she's searching for something that makes her feel anything but numb and now in the aftermath describes the regret she feels.

It was the best of times, the worst of crimes, I struck a match and blew your mind/But I didn’t mean it, and you didn’t see it/The ties were black, the lies were white, in shades of gray in candlelight/I wanted to leave him, I needed a reason/X marks the spot where we fell apart, he poisoned the well, I was lying to myself/I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun shot in the dark/You were driving the getaway car, we were flying, but we’d never get far/Don’t pretend it’s such a mystery, think about the place where you first met me/Riding in a getaway car, there were sirens in the beat of your heart/I shoulda known I’d be the first to leave, think about the place where you first met me/In a getaway car, no they never get far/No, nothing good starts in a getaway car

If you yourself are grieving, or someone you know is, just remember that no one is truly alone in times like these. Happy listening, and see ya'll next week.