Yes, My [Future] Kids Will Watch Aladdin

I'm always consciously aware that Aladdin is a great movie, but it hits me even more how great it is when I sit down to watch it. This movie is beautifully animated, has one of the best Disney soundtracks there is, is funny as hell, and has one of the greatest princesses of the lineup: the badass Princess Jasmine. Even though she's the only Disney princess that is not the star of her own movie, she pretty much steals the show every time she's on screen, and I think we can all agree it's a crime that she only gets to sing one song the whole film.

Aladdin debuted in theaters on November 25th, 1992, barely a year after her royal predecessor Belle and 55 years after Snow White set the pace for Disney royalty. Based on Aladdin and the Magic Lamp, which is a part of the Middle Eastern folktale collection One Thousand and One Nights, the film was an instant success, quickly becoming Disney's highest grossing film of the time (it was eventually dethroned by The Lion King a few years later) with a budget of $28 million and a box office of $504.1 million - the first Disney animated film to gross over half a million dollars. The film ended up winning two Academy Awards (Best Original Score and Best Original Song for A Whole New World), three Golden Globe Awards (Best Original Song for A Whole New World, Best Original Score, and a Special Achievement Award for Robin Williams), and a whopping four Grammy Awards (Best Soundtrack Album, Song of the Year for A Whole New World, Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal for A Whole New World, and Best Song Written Specifically for a Motion Picture or Television for A Whole New World). The film's insane success spawned two direct-to-video sequels (The Return of Jafar in 1994 and Aladdin and the King of Thieves in 1996), an animated TV show on the Disney Channel, a Broadway musical that debuted in 2011 to its own crazy amount of success, and a live action adaptation in 2019 starring Mena Massoud as Aladdin, Naomi Harris as Jasmine, Will Smith as Genie, and Marwan Kenzari as Jafar.

While there are multiple issues with Middle Eastern representation in this film, overall the movie is really outstanding, which has as much to do with the characters as it does the music. I do have to say that our title character may be the least interesting of the mains, but Aladdin's still pretty cool. I have a soft spot in my heart for The Sultan as a Disney Dad - he doesn't have a whole lot of common sense (or, you know, any common sense), but he loves Jasmine more than anything else in the world and just wants her to be happy - I mean...I'm not sure he really could've made himself force her to marry someone she didn't love when it got down to it. Jafar is my second favorite Disney villain - the man is UNHINGED, and Jonathan Freeman is in my Top 5 Evil Laughs because it's just so maniacal and awesome. Genie....what is there to say about Genie that hasn't already been said? I was barely a year old when Aladdin came out, so this was literally my introduction to Robin Williams and I've loved him ever since (may he Rest In Peace). Abu kind of sucks tbh, but I LOVE Carpet and Rajah as Disney sidekicks. And now, let's get to the important part - bragging on Jasmine.

Jasmine KICKS ASS. This girl is three days away from turning 16 and already has more common sense than her father as long as it's about ruling the kingdom (we're going to let the incident in the marketplace slide because she literally had never been taught about money, that's not her fault, blame whatever tutors the Sultan hired for her). There's no doubt in anyone's mind that Jasmine is going to be Queen of Agrabah at some point. She had no qualms about getting married someday, she never saw it as a bad thing - what she minded very much was the pressure to marry a rando to meet a deadline. She wanted it to happen naturally with someone she really loved, not someone she barely knew that she'd be forced to tolerate the rest of her life while she was, you know, running a kingdom, and that's totally okay. She never hesitated to speak her mind, and she has one of the most iconic lines ever spoken in a Disney movie in my opinion: "I am NOT a prize to be won." YOU GO, BABY GIRL. She sees right through Jafar's bullshit and doesn't hesitate to call him out on it at any given time. She knows her Dad relies on Jafar a little too heavily and she hasn't been able to change his mind on him, but she fully plans on firing him the very minute she gets put in charge. She is currently the only Disney Princess to have made out with her main villain, which is hella gross but drastic times call for drastic measures and she was just trying to make sure her boyfriend and her dad didn't get murdered right in front of her - not to mention she made the choice to kiss him, he didn't force himself on her right then which makes it arguably easier to tolerate but not really because he's still disgusting. All in all, Jasmine is an AMAZING role model for any young person and I wish I had her hair because I'd kill for that amount of volume she has.

And now, la musique. Alan Menken and Howard Ashman were doing their dream team thing on this film, but unfortunately Ashman passed away before the film was complete so Tim Rice took over to help Menken finish it out. There is literally not a bad song on the Aladdin soundtrack. The lyrics in all of them are just really impressive, especially in the Genie songs - there's a lot of words with a lot of syllables that are really difficult to sing, but they all pulled it off. Seriously, they're all bangers and all deserve all the praise all the time. However, I'm going to reign myself in and only focus on my Top 3.

Arabian Nights by Bruce Adler (written by A. Menken, H. Ashman)

While it's one of my favorite intro songs in Disney history, I've wondered for years how Disney got away with writing this song. I have the original soundtrack from right as the film was released in '92, so I knew for a fact that the lyrics to this song were changed, but I wasn't positive what transpired to make it so. During research for this song, I saw an article from 1993 or 1994 from the LA Times that Disney got in some pretty hot water with Middle Eastern advocacy groups for the original lyrics of this song and had to change them because they were....well, there's no nice way to put it, they were fairly racist. As a kid, I was pretty confused why a Disney song was talking about cutting off someone's ear if you didn't like their face because that's scary and Aladdin isn't supposed to be scary, so all in all it's better that that line was changed in the long run. Despite its flaws, this opening song sets the tone for the movie in a really great way and I still really, really like it.

Oh, I come from a land, from a faraway place, where the caravan camels roam/Where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense, it's barbaric, but hey, it's home/When the winds from the east and the sun's from the west and the sand in the glass is bright/Come on down, stop on by, hop a carpet and fly to another Arabian night/Arabian nights, like Arabian days/More often than not are hotter than hot in a lot of good ways/Arabian nights 'neath Arabian moons/A fool off his guard could fall and fall hard out here on the dunes

Prince Ali by Robin Williams (written by A. Menken, H. Ashman)

Ya'll, it was HARD for me to choose which Genie song to highlight on here. I've seen the animated film, the Broadway musical, and the live action film, so I've heard both Friend Like Me and Prince Ali performed in different ways by different very talented actors. Friend Like Me definitely wins for the better performance in terms of the musical, because James Monroe Inglehart is a force to be reckoned with and seriously if you haven't heard his version of the song go listen to it right now. However, I went with Prince Ali because I was just so damn impressed with Will Smith's version of it in the live action film. Seriously, that drop right before the last section? Dead. Instantly dead in my seat in the theater. Will Smith's shining moment in the film. Amazing. The truly unfortunate thing is that you can't stream the Robin Williams versions of either song due to a clause in Williams' contract that said Disney couldn't monetize the Genie if he agreed to play the role, which of course they did, and that resulted in both not being able to listen to these songs on Apple Music and other streaming services and also why Williams would not return to voice the Genie again in any following Aladdin films.

Hey, clear the way in the old bazaar/Hey you, let us through, it's a bright new star/Oh, come be the first on the block to meet his eye/Make way, here he comes, ring bells, bang the drums/Are you gonna love this guy/Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa/Genuflect, show some respect down on one knee/Now try your best to stay calm, brush up your Sunday salaam/Then come and meet his spectacular coterie/Prince Ali, mighty is he, Ali Ababwa/Strong as ten regular men, definitely/He faced the galloping hordes, a hundred bad guys with swords/Who sent those goons to their lords? Why, Prince Ali

A Whole New World by Lea Salonga and Brad Kane (written by A. Menken, T. Rice)

Again, it's literally a crime that Jasmine only gets to sing once in this film, but she makes the absolute most of it. I've looked to Lea Salonga as a vocal role model since I was four years old and saw her sing Eponine in Les Miserables for the first time, and all these years later I still think she can virtually do no wrong. A Whole New World is also, of course, the credit roll song for the film, performed in '92 by Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle and in '19 by Zayn Malik and Zhavia Ward. The Bryson/Belle duet is the one responsible for all of the awards the film won, and is still to this day the only Disney song to win the Grammy Award for Song of the Year.

I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, splendid/Tell me, Princess, now when did you last let your heart decide/I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder/Over, sideways, and under on a magic carpet ride/A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view/No one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming/A whole new world, a dazzling place I never knew/But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear that now I'm in a whole new world with you

As always, my advice to you this week is to carve out some time and watch Aladdin if you haven't done so in a while. It's fun, it's awesome, you'll probably find you still remember every word to every song, and you won't regret it. Happy listening, and see ya'll next week!