Songs for The Helper

Welcome to Part 2 of our Enneagram Series, today devoted to my personal enneagram Type, Type 2! I know I mentioned this in my Type 1 post, but finding out more about the enneagram and reading about my personality type has really helped me be more conscious about making healthier choices as well as paying attention to how I interact with other people based off their type as well if I happen to know it. Again, the enneagram is not how I dictate every single moment of my life, but it's a very handy and very interesting tool to use, and I love making compartmentalized playlists so I'm having so much fun.

Type Twos in the enneagram are referred to as Helpers or Givers depending on who you talk to, and both of those names are extremely accurate for those of us who identify that way. Some key personality traits that they share across the board are being caring, interpersonal, generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive. Type Two's basic fear is that of being unwanted or unworthy of being loved, and their basic desire is that of simply being loved. A happy, healthy Two can be unselfish, altruistic, and unconditionally loving, while a miserable, unhealthy Two can be bitterly resentful and angry, often excusing and rationalizing their poor behavior because they feel abused and victimized by other people. They're motivated by being loved and vindicating their own claims about themselves so that they can be proven lovable. They're usually very empathetic and sincere. While they always mean well, they can fall into doing things for others in order to feel needed and, according to the Enneagram Institute, this can cause issues with possessiveness and acknowledging their own needs. A Two with a One wing, or 2w1, is usually referred to as a Servant or a Companion and maintains the core feelings of a Two while leaning on One traits like seeking to better the lives of those around them. A Two with a Three wing, or 2w3, is usually referred to as a Host or Hostess and maintains that core Twoness while leaning on Three traits like working hard to meet the needs of others to feel accepted. A healthy Two can exhibit traits of a Type Four due to their Growth Path causing them to act more self-nurturing and emotionally aware, while a super stressed Two can exhibit traits of a Type Eight due to their Stress Path causing them to act more aggressive and dominating.

Here's some pop culture examples of Type Two that I've "typed" over the last year. AS I SAID LAST TIME, I obviously don't own/didn't create any of these characters and secondly, it's again impossible to truly type another person, especially when they aren't real, but this its a lot of fun and I've enjoyed doing it. These are just my personal opinion, so please don't @ me.

-Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender

-Aedion Ashryver from Throne of Glass

-Amara (2w3), Jack Kline (2w3), & Jody Mills (2w1) from Supernatural

-Ann Perkins from Parks & Recreation

-Bismuth, Spinel (2w1), & Steven Universe from Steven Universe

-Dary from Letterkenny

-Doug Funnie from Doug

-Grace Hargreeves/Mom from The Umbrella Academy

-Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls

-Johnny Rose from Schitt's Creek

-Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory

-Lucien Vanserra from A Court of Thorns & Roses

-Michael Scott & Phyllis Lapin Vance from The Office

-Molly Weasley (2w1) & Rubeus Hagrid (2w3) from Harry Potter

-Penelope Featherington from Bridgerton

-Rey from Star Wars

-Snow White (2w1) from Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs

-Thor Odinsson from the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Somehow the Two playlist is even bigger than the One playlist was, but again for time's sake I've chosen just a small selection to showcase - you can follow me on Apple Music @audioaesthetics for the full playlist. Now that we've done a little catching up, let's get to the music.

Don't You Remember by Adele (written by A. Adkins, D. Wilson)

Featured on her 2011 album 21, this is one of my favorite Adele songs and I think it resonates perfectly with Type Twos like myself. The pain of losing the love of someone important to us is a huge fear for all of us, not just Twos, and this song does a wonderful job encapsulating that feeling you get when it unfortunately happens.

When will I see you again/You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said/No final kiss to seal any sins/I had no idea of the state we were in/I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness/And a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head/But don’t you remember/Don’t you remember/The reason you loved me before/Baby, please remember me once more

Animal Friends/With a Smile and a Song by Adriana Caselotti (written by F. Churchill, L. Morey, L. Harline)

Snow White is a great example of a Type 2 character. She hits all of the positive characteristics right on the head: she's caring, generous, demonstrative, unselfish, altruistic, and empathetic, as well as being a little people-pleasing, but who can blame her when she just needs a place to hide so her stepmom doesn't have her heart cut out of her chest? With a Smile and a Song is a song from her movie that a lot of people tend to overlook, but it's simple and beautiful and sets up her character very nicely.

With a smile and a song, life is just a bright sunny day/Your cares fade away and your heart is young/With a smile and a song, all the world seems to waken anew/Rejoicing with you as the song is sung/There’s no use in grumbling when raindrops come tumbling/Remember, you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine/When you smile and you sing, everything goes in tune and it’s spring/And life flows along with a smile and a song

i love you by Billie Eilish (written by F. O'Connell, B. O'Connell)

Featured on her 2019 album WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?, I know I've talked about this Billie Eilish song a couple of times now but I just really love it. Yes, Twos want nothing more to be loved, but no one wants the reluctant love of someone else - the lyrics showing her struggling with someone saying "I love you but I don't want to" is pretty heart wrenching.

Up all night on another red-eye/We wish we never learned to fly/Maybe we should just try to tell ourselves a good lie/I didn’t mean to make you cry/Maybe won’t you take it back, say you were tryna make me laugh/And nothing has to change today, you didn’t mean to say I love you/I love you and I don’t want to, ooh

Hesitate by Jonas Brothers (written by J. Jonas, K. Lykken, J. Tranter, M. Sabath)

Featured on their 2019 album Happiness Begins, this song was written by middle JoBro (and my absolute favorite) Joe about his now wife Sophie Turner. The lyrics are peak Two territory, talking about taking on someone else's pain and being willing to do anything for the person you love.

Kiss the tears right off your face/Won’t get scared, that’s the old, old, old me/I’ll be there, time and place/Lay it on me, all you’re hold, hold, holding/Time, time only heals if we work through it now/And I promise we’ll figure this out/I will take your pain and put it on my heart/I won’t hesitate, just tell me where to start/I thank the oceans for giving me you, you saved me once and now I’ll save you, too/I won’t hesitate for you

Cup of Tea by Kacey Musgraves (written by J. Osborne, K. Musgraves, S. McAnally)

Featured on Musgraves' 2015 album Pageant Material, everything about this song is one big "hard-to-swallow pill" for Type Twos like me. Our entire MO is centered around being everyone's favorite, and the lesson that that's physically impossible (as well as incredibly unhealthy) is a difficult but important one I've had to learn my entire life.

Maybe your jacket is a hand-me-down/Maybe you slept with half of your hometown/In a world of squares, maybe you’re just round/You can’t be everybody’s cup of tea/Some like it bitter, some the sweet/Nobody’s everybody’s favorite, so you might as well just make it how you please/‘Cause you can’t be everybody’s cup of tea

Closer by Maverick City Music ft. Brandon Lake (written by B. Lake)

Drawing again from Instagram creator @mirabellecreations' Valentine's Day graphic, what better choice for an Enneagram/Fruit of the Spirit pair-up than LOVE? God is love, after all - the purest form of love in the entire universe, and Jesus Himself said that His followers will be known by the world by how well they love others. Featured on Maverick City Music's 2020 album Maverick City Vol. 3, Part 1 and featuring vocals by worship leader Brandon Lake, Closer is a stunningly beautiful acoustic praise song that cries out for God to come closer to us with that amazing love.

Like the rushing wind, would You breathe within my heart/And through the raging storm, would You hold me in your arms/‘Cause I need You, how I need You/I need Your love like I need water/I need Your love like I need breath inside of my lungs/Burn in my heart just like a fire, come and take me over/Jesus, draw me closer to Your heart

I John 4:16 NLT We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.

Other Friends by Sarah Stiles (written by J. Liu, R. Sugar)

During my husband and I's entire binge session of Steven Universe during quarantine last year, Spinel was one of the characters I resonated with the most. Is she absolutely the villain of the movie? Oh, without a doubt - but when you figure out why she's behaving the way she does it's completely and utterly heartbreaking. Spinel's entire existence was designed around being loved by someone who ended up abandoning her and inadvertently erasing her from existence. Sarah Stiles did a GREAT job vocally both singing and speaking for her, and Other Friends is an absolute banger that I unashamedly listen to all the time.

That’s right, I heard the story over and over again/Gee, it’s swell to finally meet her other friends/That’s right, I heard the story, don’t really like how it ends/Gee, it’s swell to finally meet her other friends/What did she say about me, what did she say/What did she do without me, what did you do/Did you play games without me, what did you play/Did you think all this time that I wouldn’t find out about you/Oh, that’s right, I heard the story over and over again/Gee, it’s swell to finally meet her other friends

Two by Sleeping At Last (written by R. O'Neal)

Featured on his 2019 album Atlas: Enneagram, this song is Ryan O'Neal's musical interpretation of a Type Two and I must say it's incredibly spot on. He addresses that seemingly unending well of love that Type Twos feel for those they care about as well as the need to fix and heal and care for.

Sweetheart, you look a little tired, when did you last eat/Come in and make yourself right at home, stay as long as you need/Tell me, is something wrong, if something’s wrong, you can count on me/You know I’ll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat/It’s okay if you can’t find the words, let me take your coat/And this weight off of your shoulders/Like a force to be reckoned with, a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss/I will love you with every single thing I have/Like a tidal wave I’ll make a mess, or calm waters if that serves you best/I will love you without any strings attached

Delicate by Taylor Swift (written by M. Martin, K. Schuster, T. Swift)

Featured on her 2017 album reputation, Delicate is a really good Two song from Queen Taylor. Twos tend to go from 0-100 real quick when it comes to love, so the lyrics where she talks about worrying whether or not it's too soon to be feeling this way feel very, very relatable.

Dive bar on the East Side, "Where you at?"/Phone lights ups my nightstand in the back/Come here, you can meet me in the back/Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you/Oh damn, never seen that color blue/Just think of the fun things we could do/'Cause I like you/This ain’t for the best, my reputation’s never been worse, so/You must like me for me/Yeah, I want you/We can’t make any promises now can we, babe/But you can make me a drink/Is it cool that I said all that, is it chill that you’re in my head/‘Cause I know that it’s delicate/Is it cool that I said al that, is it too soon to do this yet/‘Cause I know that it’s delicate/Isn’t it, isn’t it, isn’t it/Isn’t it/Isn’t it, isn’t it, isn’t it/Isn’t it delicate

Who We Are by Uzo Aduba & Zach Callison (written by R. Sugar)

Bismuth is good example from Steven Universe of a character who started off as an unhealthy example of the enneagram and grew through hard work to make herself healthier. Bismuth is very devoted to her friends and will do anything to protect them - so much so that she was willing to make some really questionable choices that ended up backfiring on her. Once she realized she was in the wrong and acting out of her bitterness and pain she was abllle to heal. Who We Are is from the 2019 movie and showcases those traits in Bismuth very well.

When has it ever been easy/Hasn’t it always been hard to be us/When you go against the grain/There’s always somebody around you can’t trust/That’s why we’ve got to have each other while we figure this out, we must/Because we are the Crystal Gems, and we never give up/We never give up on our friends/As long as one of us is standing to brandish the star/We’ll find way to save the day, that’s who we are

Giant Woman by Zach Callison (written by A. Tran, R. Sugar, S. Velema)

I firmly believe Steven Universe himself is a Two, and show creator Rebecca Sugar does a phenomenal job writing his story arc showing him go from healthy to unhealthy and back again throughout the show and the movie. All Steven wants to do is help his friends and family, to the point where he never even really shows anger towards anyone until much, much later in the series. He gives everything he can and rarely considers his own needs, and not until the end of the series did he learn the lesson that he has to take care of himself if he wants to take care of other people. Giant Woman is from S1E12 (also titled Giant Woman), is sung directly to Pearl and Amethyst, and is a song that I play on ukulele at least once a week because I love it.

All I wanna do is see you turn into/A giant woman, a giant woman/All I wanna be is someone who gets to see/A giant woman/All I wanna do is help you turn into/A giant woman, a giant woman/All I wanna be is someone who gets to see a giant woman

As I'm sure you can guess, I sincerely hope that you found some good music to jam to this week. Happy listening, and see ya'll next week!